'The Gov has VD'

HORROR OF Horrors! The Reverend Governor, vowed to a life of celibacy, afflicted with a dreaded sexually-transmitted disease? No, way. Tell me it ain’t so.
In utter disbelief, almost pleading was I to Don Luisito, my seminary elder, who broke the salaciously scandalous morsel of a news to me over cups of espresso at the Old Manila in Robinsons Starmills.
Bobo, your compadre has no tulo (leak, euphemism for syphilis). By VD, I did not mean venereal disease. But the Governor’s VD is as deadly, not in the venereal… okay, sexual sense though. It is as debilitating, with his energy sapped: his own friends and supporters distancing themselves from him, treating him like a pariah, or, well, one with a horrible highly-contagious disease.
Okay, the distancing part I get – the estrangement from the Governor of his political fairy godmother, Madame Lolita Hizon; his pillar of support, Rene Romero; some of those in his civil society groups; plus the 13 resigners from his inner circle. But the affliction, I still can’t quite make.
Now you’re really the bobo. It’s Dabu, that’s who. Vivian Dabu. VD.
Ouch! Sakit matawag na bobo. Can’t do anything though. Don Luisito is my senior and at the Mater Boni Consilii Seminary we were taught to be courteous and respectful and not to respond in kind to our upperclassmen.
The Governor’s VD is wreaking havoc on the system of governance in the province. Like open pussy sores, the symptoms are manifest in the adversarial stance of the sangguniang panlalawigan and the municipal mayors, the disparagement of charity seekers at the capitol, the disgust of the health workers, the disdain in the infrastructure department. Why, even in the quarry operations – the only bright spot in the Panlilio administration – has been wracked with the VD virus, so to speak. Just listen to those Balas boys in delirium.
Now I follow you. Aside from the Dabu kind, the Governor is afflicted with another VD strain in Yeng Guiao. This is Vice Defiant. The Coach ever vigilant in denouncing the foibles and failures at the executive department. A different VD there – Vigilant Denouncer. Suits Yeng to a T, especially in the quarry issue.
Okay, you’ve just redeemed yourself from bobo-ism. Vainglorious Demigod, that is yet another strain of VD that hit the Governor. Most manifest in his having declared himself as having provided hope for the whole Philippines with what he has done for Pampanga. Plus, in his taking down the portraits of the former governors and at one time plastering all the walls of the capitol with his portraits. Vanity be damned!
It’s my turn now to make you think. On hindsight now, the Governor is inured to, rather, inhered in VD.
What do you mean? VD is innate in Panlilio?
With whom did the Governor train for the priesthood?
The Society of the Divine Word, I am told.
The Societas Verbi Divini -- you have forgotten your Ars Latina. Hence, SVD. Though a diocesan priest, Among Ed had SVDs as formators. And how did we make fun of these missionary orders when we were at Mater Boni? The Jesuits’ SJ was Society of Judas, the Belgians’ CICM was Can I Collect Money, the Oblates’ OMI was Order of the Most Ignorant, the Dominicans were Dogs of the Lord for Domini canis...
Yeah, and SVD was for Suffering from Venereal Disease. Corny. Still, Vivian Dabu’s VD notwithstanding, you are the worst VD afflicting the Governor.
Now, now, that’s uncalled for. It’s unfair and unreal to tag me VD. I have no VD in my system. There is neither a V nor a D in my moniker Bong, not even in my full baptismal name of Augustus Caesar Lacson y Zapata.
Still, you are the Governor’s worst VD. Vicious Damager that is, if not Vexatious Detractor, for all those singularly bad things you write about him.
Now, that’s VD, very damning.