More lessons for wannabes
THE basic rule in winning elections is: There is no basic rule in winning elections. Winning is a combustion from a fusion of talent, hard work, resources and luck. Lots of luck.
Looks play a great deal too. A comely countenance works wonders. Read Lito Lapid here in the universal sense, and Mabalacat’s Boking Morales in the relative sense, vis-à-vis his archrival Anthony Dee. So it went in all elections the two contested that Boking was likened to Sharon’s ex, Gabby Concepcion, and Dee to Bal…, oh, never mind. I don’t relish being accused of “facial” discrimination here.
But looks – not-so-good to outright ugly – are liabilities that can be turned to assets. This is best exampled by Tirso G. Lacanilao of Apalit.
At the first appearance of the generally-accepted-as-aesthetically-challenged Tirso on the political stage, his election posters were plastered with stickers stenciled PANGIT in big bold letters.
Instead of being disheartened, Tirso found there the inspiration that propelled him to victory. He got himself monickered Pogi, an irony that easily tickled the funny bone of the electorate. Then he made self-deprecation the high note of his campaign pitch.
On the entablado, Tirso in all seriousness: “Sasabyan da pu deng kanakung kalaban ing lupa kung kabayu. Mangalaram la pu ren. Ikayu na ing makapagpatune e ku pu lupang kabayu. Lupa ku pung tsonggo! “ (My rivals say I look like a horse. They are liars. You, yourselves can see that I don’t look like a horse. I look like a monkey!) His audience never failed to explode in laughter.
The electorate literally guffawed Tirso on his way to the Apalit town hall in his two terms as vice mayor and three terms as mayor.
Contrast this to my favorite never-winning nay-surrenderee. He gets mad at the slightest allusion to his imperfection. I remember in 2001, Ody Fabian got his ire and a suit for slander after the now-dearly-lamented Voice editor announced over our Alas Kuwatro Na! radio program: “Bawal ang pangit sa Mabalacat.”
Filipinos are a sucker for the underdog. The perennial loser John Santos – again, of Mabalacat – parlayed his talunan image to solid votes thus: “Malunus na ko pu kanaku. Sinawa na ku pung masasambut. Patakmanan yu na ku man pung panyambut.” (Have pity on me. I am tired of losing. Please give me a taste of victory.) John, the self-proclaimed Richard Gomez dead-ringer, stayed nine years at the Sangguniang Panlalawigan.
After being thwarted twice in his run for the Angeles City Sangguniang Panglungsod, Jay Sangil changed his campaign tack from crusading journalist-at-your-service to wisecracking wit.
Jay satirized himself thus: “Nung baga keng derby, pang-champion na ku pu ngeni uling meka-adwa na ku.” (If it were a three-cock derby, I am going for the championship, having taken two hits already.) He is now seeking re-election.
Time to end the lessons with these two samples. Enough of gratis et amore. I got a lot of needs too. More lessons are given – for a fee. Interested parties may contact me at this paper’s office. (Access past columns at acaesar.blogspot.com)
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Pampanga High School Class of 1957 will have its 50th Golden Jubilee Reunion on January 20, 2007 in the City of San Fernando, Pampanga. For inquiries, call Norma Lising Quiambao at 961-2517, and Adoracion Dizon Canlas at 961-4681.
My “adoptive mommy” June Velez-Whitmer of San Jose, California, USA proudly belongs to this class.
Looks play a great deal too. A comely countenance works wonders. Read Lito Lapid here in the universal sense, and Mabalacat’s Boking Morales in the relative sense, vis-à-vis his archrival Anthony Dee. So it went in all elections the two contested that Boking was likened to Sharon’s ex, Gabby Concepcion, and Dee to Bal…, oh, never mind. I don’t relish being accused of “facial” discrimination here.
But looks – not-so-good to outright ugly – are liabilities that can be turned to assets. This is best exampled by Tirso G. Lacanilao of Apalit.
At the first appearance of the generally-accepted-as-aesthetically-challenged Tirso on the political stage, his election posters were plastered with stickers stenciled PANGIT in big bold letters.
Instead of being disheartened, Tirso found there the inspiration that propelled him to victory. He got himself monickered Pogi, an irony that easily tickled the funny bone of the electorate. Then he made self-deprecation the high note of his campaign pitch.
On the entablado, Tirso in all seriousness: “Sasabyan da pu deng kanakung kalaban ing lupa kung kabayu. Mangalaram la pu ren. Ikayu na ing makapagpatune e ku pu lupang kabayu. Lupa ku pung tsonggo! “ (My rivals say I look like a horse. They are liars. You, yourselves can see that I don’t look like a horse. I look like a monkey!) His audience never failed to explode in laughter.
The electorate literally guffawed Tirso on his way to the Apalit town hall in his two terms as vice mayor and three terms as mayor.
Contrast this to my favorite never-winning nay-surrenderee. He gets mad at the slightest allusion to his imperfection. I remember in 2001, Ody Fabian got his ire and a suit for slander after the now-dearly-lamented Voice editor announced over our Alas Kuwatro Na! radio program: “Bawal ang pangit sa Mabalacat.”
Filipinos are a sucker for the underdog. The perennial loser John Santos – again, of Mabalacat – parlayed his talunan image to solid votes thus: “Malunus na ko pu kanaku. Sinawa na ku pung masasambut. Patakmanan yu na ku man pung panyambut.” (Have pity on me. I am tired of losing. Please give me a taste of victory.) John, the self-proclaimed Richard Gomez dead-ringer, stayed nine years at the Sangguniang Panlalawigan.
After being thwarted twice in his run for the Angeles City Sangguniang Panglungsod, Jay Sangil changed his campaign tack from crusading journalist-at-your-service to wisecracking wit.
Jay satirized himself thus: “Nung baga keng derby, pang-champion na ku pu ngeni uling meka-adwa na ku.” (If it were a three-cock derby, I am going for the championship, having taken two hits already.) He is now seeking re-election.
Time to end the lessons with these two samples. Enough of gratis et amore. I got a lot of needs too. More lessons are given – for a fee. Interested parties may contact me at this paper’s office. (Access past columns at acaesar.blogspot.com)
ANNOUNCEMENT: The Pampanga High School Class of 1957 will have its 50th Golden Jubilee Reunion on January 20, 2007 in the City of San Fernando, Pampanga. For inquiries, call Norma Lising Quiambao at 961-2517, and Adoracion Dizon Canlas at 961-4681.
My “adoptive mommy” June Velez-Whitmer of San Jose, California, USA proudly belongs to this class.
posted by A.Caesar Z. Lacson at 10:25 PM
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