Feeling 'pogi'

BEING GOOD looking has its downside.
No, I do not speak from experience, having been deprived of the gift of a handsome face. So I just write out of observation and the experiences of friends and acquaintances blessed with Adonis looks.
Being pogi is definitely a most valued asset. One is always lapitin, a magnet to the girls, truly a “ladies’ choice.” An overload of machismo there makes one supremely confident, inevitably.
“You’re so vain,” as Carly Simon crooned to the Hollywood lover boy Warren Beatty, pre-Annette Benning, that is. Beauty – in women as in men – is twin to vanity.
There is this mediaman-turned-politico, publicly acknowledged as guapo, who earned a reputation among the city’s masseuses for his apres massage antics.
To any attendant demanding payment for “extra services rendered” our guapo coos: “Nanghihingi ka pa ng bayad? Guapo naman ako, hindi ka agrabyado (You still ask for payment? I am handsome, you’ve not been disadvantaged.)”
The quick retort: “Tarantado, walang guapo-guapo dito. Trabaho ko ito. Bayad ka! (Fool! Pretty faces have no value here. This is my job. Pay up!)”
Or that aged Lothario among mediamen who takes any smile from any lady, known or unknown to him, as an affirmation of his handsomeness and his attractive pull: “Kalyan na ku. Kasi guapu ku, buri na ku. (She’s smiling at me. Because I am handsome, she desires me.)”
Ah, vanity of vanities!
Still, our two examples above are nowhere near in rank of that elected local official who regards himself as God’s own gift to women.
He preens himself every time he gets in the public eye, be it in a media interview, on the legislative floor, even when just munching a Champ at Jollibee. Ever on the look-out for ladies’ eyes meeting his.
So it came to pass that our gigolo won the heart of a young barrio beauty titlist.
“Mekua ya keng santing ku. (She fell for my looks.)” So he bragged to anyone who cared to hear.
“Mewala ya keng kabobuan na. (He lost her due to his stupidity.)” So we heard next from a colleague.
And then the hush-hush scandal of our gigolo stalking his erstwhile ladylove, harassing her new boyfriend, even threatening her kin with physical harm if she won’t come back to his arms.
He just could not take, much less believe, how one as handsome as he could ever be jilted: “Keng kasantingan ku, e malyaring lakuan na ku.”
Ah, the height of vanity.
A caveat to all pretty boys is the current issue on handsome Board Member Johnny “JQ” Quiambao.
With his matinee-idol looks, JQ has this reputation of being a dawayan (extremely attractive to the opposite sex). It is mayhaps because of this that JQ is now in deep sh…, okay, hole.
JQ has been slapped with a rape complaint by a 16-year-old student. No, the victim never said in her sworn statement that JQ used brute force to enter where angels fear to tread. Yes, they did it more than once, the girl said. And yes, she is pregnant.
The attraction clearly made lethal – for JQ – with the girl’s age.
Lesson for us: No need really to validate one’s handsomeness with the number of conquests among the opposite sex. And risk the high price of being a certified pogi.
Better then for all of us not so blessed with good looks to just be content with the thought: Pogi naman ako, maski itanong niyo sa nanay ko. (I am really good looking. Go, ask my mother.)
Asus, asus, asus.