Pornophobic

RAISE A howl moralists of the mitered and manang varieties did with the recent birthing in this presumed über- conservative only-Christian-country-in-Asia of Hedonistic Hef’s high-end piece of erotica.
Duh, I mean the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines and the self-appointed guardians of morals – primarily women long into libidinous inactivity – denouncing the maiden issue of Playboy Philippines. With such vehemence as though the glossy magazine were Satan herself came down to earth. Which – to their mind – it really is the case: Playboy to them being lewd, and therefore a scourge to morality; pornographic, and therefore a corruptor of the youth; the vehicle to perdition, and therefore must be condemned.
Expect some Playboy–burning activities soon.
Not much into the morality of the uppity class owing to my lowly social, if not sensual, status, I have long been an ardent reader of Playboy: taken in as much by the well-written articles that do not insult but enhance the intelligence, as by the magnificent poetry of the female form.
Alas, the absence of the magazine in these shores has depressingly deprived me of great reading, and viewing, pleasure. The last batches of Playboy I got in 2005 yet, sent by United Nations-in-New York-based Consul Elmer Cato in a bulging yellow parcel, multi- taped to seal its contents lest it hurt the gender-sensitivity of the courier, Sonia Soto, a feminist of the first order, and – as her recent long-deserved recognition from Soroptimist International indicated – a woman who has made a difference. Not only in issues about women but about the community at large.
At every recall of this incident, I feel down my spine the righteous rage of Ms Sonia when she learned what “women-degrading trash” Elmer made her carry home for me all the way from the Big Apple.
Instead of being terrified over the possible loss of my soul though, the fire-and-brimstone denunciation of the CBCP and the manangs got me so interested – pruriently as well as curiously – that I spared no time in hunting down a copy of Playboy Philippines. I did not find any either at the SM or Robinsons malls in Pampanga. Luckily, I chanced upon one at Puregold Duty Free Clark.
So, how did I find Playboy Philippines?
It is nowhere near the league of its foreign counterparts. In both the articles and the girls. No in-depth essays that could approximate those of Gore Vidal’s and Kurt Vonnegut’s. And can you believe it, no full frontals in a magazine that bears the Playboy stamp? Six nipples and two buffed butts, a trace of pubes through white lacy lingerie is all that can pass for “indecent” exposure. That’s lewd? That’s to titillate the prurient interest, if not rouse primal desires? Damn, it did not trigger even just the tiniest spark in my loins.
Hugh Hefner, how could you? I wuzz robbed.
FHM Philippines far out-skinned Playboy Philippines.
With that fantastic spread on flashy cars, Playboy Philippines is more in the league of Autoshow or whatever those car magazines are called. Not in the skin magazine genre.
By calling Playboy Philippines pornographic, the CBCP and its coterie of manangs have misappropriated the term. Or have they been so taken in, nay, blinded by the magazine’s reputation and have become so selectively pornophobic that that they failed to see the real pornography the country is awash in?
There is the tabloid Sagad and its ilk – full-color copulation in all its variations and perversions – sold openly by newsboys on the streets of Metro Manila?
In just about every corner of the archipelago, there are the pirated XXX CDs that make kamasutra virtually a catechetical manual.
Then, there is the internet with all the sexual perversions imaginable, and more beyond the imagination, just two mouse clicks away.
Uplift morality, damn Playboy Philippines?
At the risk of being branded pornophiliac, I’d still do no damning here. Playboy embodies, in more ways than words, free expression. That, any citizen is duty-bound to support.