Extreme Makeover
MAY pulis, may pulis sa ilalim ng tulay…
The ditty is a satirical flick of the finger at the uniformed sneak preying on unwary motorists for two Osmeñas or a Roxas in exchange of their being let go off some trumped-up traffic infraction.
Pulis, pulis, pulis matulis.
Ah, double entendre here: the sharpness of the cop at filching the last Quezon off a hapless victim, and the put-on machismo obtaining in a force whose members purportedly have not just one, but two or more paramours.
Flash Report: The Philippine National Police holds the record for the quickest response in crime situations, beating such elite police forces as the New York Police Department which registered eight minutes, and Great Britain’s Scotland Yard at five minutes. The PNP registered zero minutes. Impossible? No, they are in the scene, themselves committing the crime.
Truly, that is a most painful joke – to the national police – that has circled the globe via internet. And just how are the police caricatured? Uniformly: pot-bellied, palm outstretched.
Tawagin mo na akong demonyo, huwag lang pulis.
Ah, the unkindest cut of all inflicted on the PNP in the Inquirer comic strip Pugad Baboy where the comparison to the police provided the final straw that broke the patience of the henpecked Air Force Sgt. Sabaybunot giving him the rage to snarl at his domineering wife. Better be called a devil than a policeman, can anything get lower than this?
Object of ridicule and derision, the police may be the rich lode of all that humor, but the joke is on all of us: victims of the very things we draw laughter from. Doesn’t it hurt to laugh?
Came last Friday this press release from the Pampanga Provincial Police Office slugged “SIÑGIAN REINVENTS MAMANG PULIS.”
SSupt. Keith Ernald Siñgian, Pampanga police director, “has set a makeover among police personnel following the instruction of the Chief PNP’s reinvention of Mamang Pulis.” Now, now, who did the reinvention, Siñgian or Chief PNP?
Anyways, the release said Siñgian “has ordered his men to undergo a refinement in their physical appearances that will “soften” the brusque image of the police.”
It added that “all policemen are subjected to a daily guard mounting (or is it monitoring?) to make sure that each personnel is neat in appearance, wears the prescribed uniform, appropriate shoes and other paraphernalia including their headgear and firearms.”
Okay, if there is anyone who can best serve the poster boy for the police – in physical appearance as well as in intelligence and fitness – it is Siñgian himself. The province’s top cop makes the antithesis to the rundown image of the police: out of uniform, he could be taken for a successful yuppie or a high-profile business executive.
Now, if only he can whip the force in his own image and likeness…
The national police directorate has never been wanting in make-over efforts for the whole force.
At the time of Ping Lacson, there was this imperial command for a standard 34-inch waistline for all policemen. We saw how overweight cops huffed and puffed before the national media to show one and all the seriousness of Ping’s campaign for svelteness.
The defining moment of the Egay Aglipay reign at the PNP was the Subic “rehab” program for “erring and recidivist police personnel.”
So what happened to all these?
BSDU rules in the end. That’s not for the police-created paramilitary Barrio Self Defense Units of the ‘60s. That’s for Balik Sa Dating Ugali.
Perhaps, more than an extreme make-over, it is a quintuple by-pass that the police need.
Still, we wish Siñgian – and Chief PNP Sonny Razon – all the best.
Pulis, pulis, sa galing walang kaparis?
(Zona Libre/Punto! Oct. 22, 2007)
The ditty is a satirical flick of the finger at the uniformed sneak preying on unwary motorists for two Osmeñas or a Roxas in exchange of their being let go off some trumped-up traffic infraction.
Pulis, pulis, pulis matulis.
Ah, double entendre here: the sharpness of the cop at filching the last Quezon off a hapless victim, and the put-on machismo obtaining in a force whose members purportedly have not just one, but two or more paramours.
Flash Report: The Philippine National Police holds the record for the quickest response in crime situations, beating such elite police forces as the New York Police Department which registered eight minutes, and Great Britain’s Scotland Yard at five minutes. The PNP registered zero minutes. Impossible? No, they are in the scene, themselves committing the crime.
Truly, that is a most painful joke – to the national police – that has circled the globe via internet. And just how are the police caricatured? Uniformly: pot-bellied, palm outstretched.
Tawagin mo na akong demonyo, huwag lang pulis.
Ah, the unkindest cut of all inflicted on the PNP in the Inquirer comic strip Pugad Baboy where the comparison to the police provided the final straw that broke the patience of the henpecked Air Force Sgt. Sabaybunot giving him the rage to snarl at his domineering wife. Better be called a devil than a policeman, can anything get lower than this?
Object of ridicule and derision, the police may be the rich lode of all that humor, but the joke is on all of us: victims of the very things we draw laughter from. Doesn’t it hurt to laugh?
Came last Friday this press release from the Pampanga Provincial Police Office slugged “SIÑGIAN REINVENTS MAMANG PULIS.”
SSupt. Keith Ernald Siñgian, Pampanga police director, “has set a makeover among police personnel following the instruction of the Chief PNP’s reinvention of Mamang Pulis.” Now, now, who did the reinvention, Siñgian or Chief PNP?
Anyways, the release said Siñgian “has ordered his men to undergo a refinement in their physical appearances that will “soften” the brusque image of the police.”
It added that “all policemen are subjected to a daily guard mounting (or is it monitoring?) to make sure that each personnel is neat in appearance, wears the prescribed uniform, appropriate shoes and other paraphernalia including their headgear and firearms.”
Okay, if there is anyone who can best serve the poster boy for the police – in physical appearance as well as in intelligence and fitness – it is Siñgian himself. The province’s top cop makes the antithesis to the rundown image of the police: out of uniform, he could be taken for a successful yuppie or a high-profile business executive.
Now, if only he can whip the force in his own image and likeness…
The national police directorate has never been wanting in make-over efforts for the whole force.
At the time of Ping Lacson, there was this imperial command for a standard 34-inch waistline for all policemen. We saw how overweight cops huffed and puffed before the national media to show one and all the seriousness of Ping’s campaign for svelteness.
The defining moment of the Egay Aglipay reign at the PNP was the Subic “rehab” program for “erring and recidivist police personnel.”
So what happened to all these?
BSDU rules in the end. That’s not for the police-created paramilitary Barrio Self Defense Units of the ‘60s. That’s for Balik Sa Dating Ugali.
Perhaps, more than an extreme make-over, it is a quintuple by-pass that the police need.
Still, we wish Siñgian – and Chief PNP Sonny Razon – all the best.
Pulis, pulis, sa galing walang kaparis?
(Zona Libre/Punto! Oct. 22, 2007)
posted by A.Caesar Z. Lacson at 6:56 AM
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